Word of Mouth
by GAbbyIsLove
Summary: Chaos ensues when Tony sees something that was not meant for anyone to see, and he is unable to keep his loose lips shut. GAbby!
1. Circulation

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

_**A/N : **Hi everyone! I'm back, now! I needed to get a lot of things in order, but now, I'm much better and full of ideas! And, for those who have read my other GAbby story, She Didn't Ask Why, I am working on a new chapter for that!**  
**_

_:::X:::_

Tony was very confused. Very, _very_ confused. You might be wondering how this is any different than usual. Well, Tony recently stumbled upon something he wasn't supposed to. Something _no one_ was supposed to see.

Ziva looked up at Tony for the umpteenth time, now confused as well. All she saw was Tony, intently staring at Gibbs' empty desk with an odd face. As a sign that this was the last straw, Ziva stood from her desk and planted herself in front of Tony, hands on hips, pursed lips, eyes squinted and intent.

"Tony," she called. He ceased to respond. She rolled her dark eyes and sighed. "Tony!"

He nearly jumped out of his seat. "Huh, what! Oh. Hey, Ziva."

"Tony, is there something wrong?"

He looked nervous. "No, no, no, why would you think that? Hehehe…"

"Tony, if you don't tell me why you are so uncomfortable, I will just have to _give_ you a reason to be uncomfortable." Ziva raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, okay," he gave in. He stood and urged her to follow him to the desolate area behind the stairs of the bullpen. McGee had been watching everything happen and became very curious. He sighed when he realized his neck wasn't long enough to crane halfway around the room in order to follow their conversation.

Tony sighed in preparation for whatever she had to say.

"Well?"

"Okay. Ziva, I…I saw something I really wasn't supposed to."

"Yes? And what would that be?"

"Well…I…"

"Tony…" She said balefully.

He exhaled in defeat. "You know how Gibbs went on a coffee-slash-Caf-Pow! run?"

Ziva nodded and urged him to get to the point.

"Ziva, that's not where he went. Well, at least not the _only_ place he went. "

She tilted her head in curiosity. "But _you_ know where he _really_ went?" She watched him nod. "And that would be where, Tony?"

He sighed. "Well, here. Let me explain this from the beginning. It was maybe ten minutes after the Boss went to get some coffee…"

_:::X:::_

_Approximately 45 minutes earlier…_

Usually when Gibbs left the room, Tony found himself in the middle of a grade-school classroom without a teacher, metaphorically speaking. He already had begun crumpling paper into balls to throw at McGee. It was a little unusual for Gibbs to not be back from getting coffee after ten minutes, but Tony brushed it off and continued with his shenanigans.

Just when he was about to start the fun by ceremonially throwing the first paper-dodgeball of the day, the director appeared at the railing, surveying the work place. Jenny focused on Tony when she saw the paper in his hand.

Tony felt her eyes on him and looked up. She looked at him suspiciously when he flashed her a charming 'I'm innocent' smile, which, as it turns out, isn't usually as charming (or innocent) as he thinks it to be.

He unraveled the ball and smoothed the paper out on his desk and pretended to work for a few minutes. Satisfied, Director Shepard returned to her office.

Once he knew she was gone, Tony tried to find something entertaining to do that wouldn't leave him in plain view of the director. Maybe he could visit autopsy; Ducky was usually quite the conversationalist and Palmer could be just as fun to mess with as McGee.

He entered the elevator and pressed the button for autopsy.

_:::X:::_

_Approximately 35 minutes before Ziva questions Tony…_

Tony stepped out of the elevator on the autopsy floor and entered the cold room with a _swoosh_ of the doors. He looked down and saw a CPR mannequin on the floor.

"Mister Palmer, this is not that difficult. You've passed CPR certification before, what makes this year so different?" Ducky asked, slightly annoyed.

"I'm sorry, doctor, but it's the new CPR doll! It's too stiff ! It hasn't been broken in enough yet." Called from the opposite end of the room.

"Oh my Lord…" Ducky sighed, rolling his eyes at his assistant and massaging his temples.

After snickering quietly to himself for a moment, Tony decided to voice his presence. "Hey, I hate to interrupt the moment you guys are having, but I'm suffering from severe boredom upstairs and I was wondering if you had anything for me to do."

Ducky looked up. "Ah, Tony. Uh, would you mind breaking in this CPR doll?" Ducky lowered his voice. "Jimmy is being a bit of a diva."

"Sure, Ducky."

"Thank you, Tony. I'm just hoping that Mister Palmer will be a little less resistant when there are LIVES TO SAVE!" He yelled the last part while glaring in Jimmy's direction.

"Er- I'd be happy to do it, Ducky. Besides, getting my certification now, means I won't have to get it later. And I'm all for going home early."

"Well, let's get started then…"

_.::X::._

_20 minutes before Ziva questions Tony…_

"Congratulations, Anthony. You are now re-certified in CPR. The second on the list."

"Second? Who would be down here this early? Well, besides me."

"Jethro was down here, not twenty minutes ago."

_Why would Gibbs come down to autopsy instead of leaving to get coffee?_, Tony thought. He knew that there was most likely nothing suspicious going on, but why would he lie about getting coffee? What's the point of lying about that?

"Where did he go after that, Ducky?" Tony asked.

"Well, I had found a bullet in one of the John Doe's from another team's case. I asked Jethro to deliver the bullet to Abby."

"Oh. Thanks." He was about to leave, but he couldn't help wondering… "Did he have a coffee with him?"

Ducky looked confused for a moment, but answered Tony, nonetheless. "Yes. And a Caf-Pow! for Abigail. If you're going down there, could you bring this to Abby?" Ducky gave Tony a small transparent dish with a mysterious object in it. "Poor man had something odd in his stomach."

Tony examined the object with an odd facial expression, knowing that it had been in someone's stomach. "Uh, sure. Thanks, Ducky!" He called, leaving the room.

Ducky sighed, but brushed off Tony's questions and got back to what he had been doing previously. "Mister Palmer! Why don't you see if this mannequin is to your liking? Or perhaps you would like one with long, blonde hair? Because certainly the time to be picky is when you are PERFORMING CPR, MISTER PALMER!"

_:::X:::_

_10 minutes before Ziva questions Tony…_

Tony knew that another way to get over his boredom would be to visit Abby. Gibbs would be gone by the time Tony got to her lab, all he'd had to do was deliver evidence and a Caf-Pow!. Tony, while still in the elevator, heard a beat from the music playing in Abby's lab.

Whenever Abby played her music, that meant she was hard at work in her lab. Whatever she was doing, Tony hoped that Abby would be able to help cure his listlessness.

He exited the elevator and entered her lab. _Where is she?_

Her music was still blasting, but she was nowhere to be seen. However, her Caf-Pow! was on the computer table, it looked like only a few sips had been taken from it. _Curiouser and curiouser…_

Tony placed the evidence Ducky had given him on Abby's table and walked into her ballistics lab. The current song ended and during the pause between songs, he heard small noises.

_Bump…bump…bump…crack…_and over again. Then a sigh and a groan. Then he heard what sounded like papers falling to the floor.

He made an odd face, pondering the possibilities, and there weren't many. She was probably a little upset about not being able to find the results she was anticipating on a case, so she bumped a few things around on her desk. Right? _Hmm…_

Tony was sure that a visit from him would cheer her up.

He crept a little deeper into the ballistics lab and closer to her office door, which was cracked open slightly.

He got closer to the door and the noises got louder.

Tony peeked around the door slightly. His eyes and mind assessed the situation slowly. First he saw the floor, papers and files scattered on linoleum, then he saw the desk.

He held in his gasp as he quickly returned to his safe, undetectable position behind the door.

He grinned.

_Woah!…Okay! I'm not so bored anymore!_

Tony was right about one thing.

She was hard at work.

On her desk.

With Gibbs.

Naked.  
_:::X:::_

_Any thoughts or questions about it? Predictions? I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter! Reviews are a major boost! :)_


	2. Investigation

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

_:::X:::_

_5 minutes before Ziva questions Tony…_

Tony exited the lab, still grinning widely.

The grin fell from his face when he saw Jenny leaving the elevator. _Oh no… Please be headed somewhere else, please!_

"Hey, Director! Where are you headed on this beautiful morning?" DiNozzo put on a smile.

"Abby's lab." _I have to stall her!_

"Abby's not in there."

She was suspicious. "Oh. Where is she? She left her music on."

"The head."

"I'll wait in her lab for her."

"Why not just come back later?"

"This will only take a second, Tony."

"So can't it wait?"

"What's happening in there that you don't want me to know about?"

"What? Nothing. Nothing's happening in there, director."

"Then why do you keep standing in front of me when I try to go around you, Agent DiNozzo?"

"It's a new dance I just made up."

"Tony."

"Director."

"Stay still," she said sternly, then proceeded to walk around him.

"Can I get a raise?" He said, going after her.

"Agent DiNozzo!"

He put his hand on her shoulder. "Director… Just listen to me for a moment. If you go in there, you will have to experience one of the most awkward things that humans are capable of experiencing. And if you know what's happening in there, you would have to take action, because it's your job. But if you don't, then you can just come back later and act like this never happened."

"What's wrong with Abby, Tony?"

"Nothing," he said. "Just…please don't go in there," he finished with as a last resort.

The director was extremely curious, but she understood what Tony meant. She knew from first-hand experience that there were just some things that she was better off having no knowledge of.

"Fine. I'll come back later, then."

"Thank you!"

She got back into the elevator and stared at Tony until the doors closed, all the while wondering what was going on in there.

He nearly dropped to his knees from relief. Even with all of the confusing things happening, he knew one thing for sure.

Gibbs and Abby owed him.

BIG TIME.

That is, if he could keep this a secret.

_:::X:::_

_Present time…_

"…And so another crisis was avoided thanks to Anthony DiNozzo." Then Tony noticed her expression. Ziva stood before Tony, mouth open slightly from shock. "I know! It's crazy, right?" He agreed with whatever she was silently saying.

"Tony…I am appalled that you would make up such a story just to satisfy your own boredom!"

"I know! I…Wait, what?"

"What's wrong with you? Why would you start such gossip?" She asked him angrily.

"I'm not making this up!" She walked away from him. "Come on, Ziva! Who would make this up? Who?"

Tony, with his head hung, returned to his desk. He started looking at Gibbs' desk again thinking the same thing he'd been thinking for the last five minutes. _I wonder if they did it on his desk, too!  
__:::X:::_

Later, Tony had his head resting on his hand, and he tried to look just as bored as he was before Gibbs left so that Gibbs wouldn't become suspicious.

A few minutes later, Gibbs returned to his desk, as he normally would.

"Hey, Boss," Tony said, mumbling against his hand.

Gibbs nodded at him in acknowledgment as he sat at his desk.

"You were sure gone a while." When Tony said this, Ziva looked up at him curiously.

Gibbs squinted at him from across the room.

Ziva looked back and forth between Gibbs and Tony, occasionally meeting a gaze from Tim, who was becoming concerned with Tony's bravery. Or was it stupidity?

Tony eyed his boss' empty hands. "Forget your coffee?"

"I drank it, DiNozzo."

"Was it a really _big _cup of coffee?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were one of my ex-wives, DiNozzo." Gibbs glared at him from across the room. Gibbs was shocked when Tony dared to meet his gaze. "Is there something wrong? Because this isn't the time or place for emotional problems."

He pretended to go back to work. "This isn't the time or place for a lot of things."

Tony's eyes widened when he saw Gibbs coming his way. _Oh, why can't I just keep my stupid mouth shut?_

Gibbs stood in front of his desk and leaned in closely. Tony pushed his chair back slightly instinctively.

"Get. Back. To. Work."

Tony knew he was lucky that that was all Gibbs had done. He was surprised that he hadn't pulled him behind the stairwell to smack him around. "Yes, boss."

McGee looked at Ziva questioningly. She only shrugged her shoulders.

_:::X:::_

_A few hours later in the cafeteria…_

"Hey, Ziva!" Tim called as he went after her.

"Hello, McGee."

"What was that all about, in the bullpen today?" He asked as they both went to purchase their food.

"You mean when Tony was pulling Gibbs' levers this morning?"

"Pushing his buttons, Ziva. And yes, that." They both handed the cashier their money and sat down at a table together.

"Well, seeing as he has not sworn me to secrecy, I suppose I can tell you."

McGee leaned in close.

"Tony made up this story and told me that he had seen Gibbs and Abby having sex in her office."

Tim nearly choked on his sandwich at her bluntness. "Well, *cough, cough*, how did that lead to what happened?"

"I don't know why he went after Gibbs like that. Maybe he was trying to prove something."

They both ate for a few minutes before Tim thought of something to say. "So you don't believe Tony?"

"No," she answered simply.

"Well why not? Is that story really that unbelievable?" When he and Abby had broken up a few years before, Tim was almost convinced that it was because she was in love with Gibbs. But he didn't notice anything change between them, so the idea had just faded.

"It's not the story that I find unbelievable, it's Tony! He gets bored, so he finds a way to entertain himself."

"I think that this needs to be investigated."

"Oh, Tim, you know how I _hate_ to get involved with someone else's business," she smirked.

"What do you mean? It's your job!"

She grinned. "What should we do first?"

_:::X:::_

_Stage 1: Find evidence, ask questions_

"Okay. So who do we talk to first, McGee?" Ziva asked him as they got in the elevator after lunch.

"Well, if we expect an answer, we should ask Abby."

"That makes sense," she laughed as she pressed the button for Abby's lab.

"Ooh."

"What?" Tim asked.

"I just thought of something. What if she's not alone in there?" She grimaced.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what if Gibbs is back for round two?"

"Ew, Ziva! Ugh. Well first we should figure out if there was actually a round one. "

"It was just a thought."

"This is an investigation, Ziva! Let's get our story straight before we think about uncovering any afternoon delight!"

She snorted through her laughter. "You are far too serious, Tim!"

The doors opened and they both made their way into Abby's lab, anticipating something odd to happen. That seems to be the theme today.

She wasn't there, so they both made their way into the ballistics lab.

"McGee," Ziva whispered, "this is exactly how Tony's story began!"

"You mean you think they could be in there right now?"

She nodded.

They got closer to the door and noticed that it was cracked open slightly.

_Bump…bump…crack…_

"Ziva, we should leave! What were we thinking? We are in over our heads."

"Whether or not we are in over our legs," she said, "there's no quitting now, McGee. We're in too deep, and honestly, I'm not leaving until we have answers!"

"_Thanks so much, Tony."_

"_Hehe, anytime Abbs."_

"_I can't believe the mess I made."_

_They heard a zipper._

Ziva's mouth was wide open. _Oh my God! _she mouthed to McGee with open disgust.

McGee was appalled.

"_It could happen to anyone. I'm just surprised that you were able to go this long without noticing what you'd done."_

"_I haven't been this clumsy for a while."_

_Let's get the hell out of here! _Ziva mouthed urgently to Tim.

Tim nodded vigorously in agreement and ran out of the room with Ziva.  
_:::X:::_

_Thanks for all of the reviews, you guys! I'm glad you're liking the story! What did you think of this chapter? What do you think is going to happen next? Reviews make me smile! :)_


	3. Speculation

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

_**A/N : **__This one will be a two-parter!_

_:::X:::_

Once McGee and Ziva had made it safely into the elevator, they could not comprehend what they had heard.

"Can you believe this? Tony! What a liar!"

"I know! And telling you that Gibbs and Abby were sleeping together just so he could justify using Abby like that!"

"It's sick!" Ziva proclaimed, leaning against the elevator wall. "Poor Abby. Not only is she the subject of a rumor but she is doing…_that _with Tony!"

"What are we going to do about this?"

"I don't know about you, but I am going to give Tony hell for this!" She shook her fist in the air

_:::X:::_

_5 minutes previously, in the lab…_

Tony walked into Abby's lab, feeling a little out of place. It was very odd to know that where you are this very moment, is where someone else was having sex hours before. Tony shook off the feeling.

"Hey, Abbs," Tony greeted her.

"Hey, Tony!" She said happily, her skirt swinging in the air when she turned around to give him a warm welcome.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing much. Everything I need done by the rest of the day is in the very capable hands of Mister Mass Spec. now." She patted her machinery.

Tony looked through the ballistics lab with a tilt of his head and saw into her office from the open door. He noticed the pile of scattered files on the floor that had been there since…the incident. "Reorganizing your files again, Abby?"

"Huh?" She moved to where Tony was standing to see what he was talking about. She blushed noticeably. "Oh! I forgot about those. Those are some papers I need to get to evidence lock up. They, uh, they must have fallen down."

He knew that the papers were from earlier. "Yeah, I guess so. I could help you clean them up, if you want."

"That'd be great, Tony."

They both went into her office and he closed the door halfway.

Tony and Abby got the files back in order and placed them into a duffel bag to bring to evidence lock up.

"Thanks so much, Tony."

"Hehe, anytime, Abbs."

"I can't believe the mess I made."

Tony put the last file in and zipped up the bag. "It could happen to anyone. I'm just surprised that you were able to go this long without noticing what you'd done."

"I haven't been this clumsy for a while."

He laughed. "I find that hard to believe."

"Hey!" She punched him playfully. She stopped for a moment and looked through the open door into her lab.

"What?"

"Eh, nothing. I just thought I heard someone." _Hmm…_

_:::X:::_

When McGee and Ziva made it back up to the bullpen and to their desks, Gibbs was waiting at his own. He noticed that Tony wasn't with them.

"Where's DiNozzo?" He demanded.

Ziva and McGee glanced at each other. "Still at lunch," Ziva said smiling.

He turned to Tim. "McGee, where is he, really?" Gibbs glared.

"Well, uh, he's…Abby's lab."

"Was that so hard?" He asked rhetorically while circling them to get to the elevator.

"Boss, no, you can't go down there."

"And why not, McGee?"

"Well, she's busy."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and pressed the button for Abby's floor.

"She's busy with Tony." Tim couldn't help it as the words spilled from his mouth.

Gibbs' eyes widened but the doors closed before he could verbally respond.

Ziva made a run for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" McGee asked as he chased after her.

"We have to get Tony out of there! We need to beat the elevator before Gibbs beats Tony!"

_:::X:::_

_Busy with _Tony_?_ Gibbs thought. That was ridiculous. Abby knew that all of his flirtatiousness was just him being himself, she would never take him seriously. But if Tony was given the opportunity…

_I'll kill him!_

_:::X:::  
Sorry it's so short! I didn't want to give a lot away in just one chapter! What are your thoughts?_


	4. Speculation II

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

_**A/N : **Part two! Enjoy!**  
**_

_:::X:::_

Ziva and McGee ran into Abby's lab, a little out of breath. "Where's Tony?" Ziva panted.

Tony popped out behind Abby's equipment. "Here."

"You need to come with us!" She said.

Abby was standing to the side, confused.

"Why?" Tony asked.

"Gibbs wants to hurt you!"

"See ya, Abbs!"

"Wait, what's going on?" Abby asked.

"No time to explain! No matter what Tony did to you, he doesn't deserve to go out like this!" McGee yelled as he ran down the hall, away from the elevator with Ziva and Tony to an alternate exit.

"Huh? What did _Tony_ did to me?" Abby asked herself.

_Ding!_

Gibbs came marching in and Abby was still as confused as ever.

"Where's Tony?"

"De'ja Vu."

"What?"

_He can't know that they were here! _"Uh- Achoo! I just sneezed Gibbs, that's all."

"Where's DiNozzo?"

"I don't know. He's not _here_." _It's not lying, I don't know where they all went, and Gibbs didn't ask 'Where _was_ DiNozzo?'_

Gibbs went into her office and realized that Tony really wasn't in her lab.

Gibbs sighed. He'd been so foolish to think even for a moment something as ridiculous as Abby sleeping with Tony was even fathomable. And besides that, she looked genuinely confused.

He pulled his girl into a hug as a silent apology.

"What was that for?" Abby asked as he pulled away

He just shook his head.

"Gibbs, have you noticed everyone acting really _hinky_ today?"

"I'm wondering how to get to the bottom of it."

"You'll come up with something."

"Mmhmm."

_Ding!_

"Sorry, Gibbs. My baby dinged." She turned away so she could check the results.

Gibbs sighed in relief. How could he ever suspect for a moment that Abby would do something like that?

_:::X:::_

_Meanwhile, Tony's hideout from Gibbs (Autopsy)_

"It's very simple, yes? We just put Tony in the autopsy drawer, so that way he will be safe from Gibbs, and he will be punished for what he did."

"What?" Tony exclaimed.

"You had sex with Abby! How could you do that?" McGee yelled.

"And then you tell me that you saw Gibbs and Abby having sex in her lab to cover for yourself? How could you do_ that_?"

"What the hell are you guys talking about?!"

Ziva was astonished. "Can you believe this, Tim? And he shamelessly continues with the lies! That's it. Open the drawer, McGee."

"No!" Tony yelled.

"He's very chatty as well. Get the duct tape while you're at it. I hold on to him."

"What kind of joke is this?"

"Joke? Even with all of your skirt-chasing, we never once thought that you would sleep with Abby! What's wrong with you?"

"I didn't sleep with her!"

"Found the tape!"

"Ducky! Palmer! Someone helmph…" His calls were silenced when Ziva put her hand over his mouth.

"You bite me, I bite you. And I can _assure _you that it won't be in any way that is pleasurable to you."

"_*muffled call for help*"_

"Is someone in here? Oh, hello- oh my…" Ducky said, walking into the room and seeing the commotion.

Ziva, Tony, and McGee's movements halted. Tony's face silently pleaded with Ducky to get him out of his quandary.

"I suggest that you close that drawer and use the one to the left of it, unless you intended on Tony having a roommate."  
_:::X:::_


	5. Misinterpretation

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

_**A/N : **Thanks for all of the reviews, everyone! I love reading your feedback!**  
**_

_:::X:::_

"What are you two doing with Anthony?" Ducky asked incredulously.

"We were…" Tim began, then looked over to Ziva.

"Reenacting a kidnapping case."

Ducky's face was unspeakably hilarious as he asked Tony, "Is that what you were doing, Tony?"

Tony looked at Ziva and saw the deadly look in her eyes. "Yes," he swallowed, his reply barely comprehendable. "That's what we were doing."

"Alright…" Ducky continued to stare at them curiously until Ziva and McGee silently decided that they should leave, and take Tony with them.

"We'll just be leaving then," Ziva said, before ripping the tape off of Tony's mouth in the most unmerciful way, receiving a squeal from him.

The three then made their way from autopsy and into the elevator.

_:::X:::_

_Abby's Lab_

Gibbs sat just watching Abby; it was amazing to watch her work. Her head nodded to the beat of the music as she moved throughout the lab methodically. He was convinced that she would be able to complete her job with ease even if her eyes were closed.

Suddenly, she stopped and turned to him, gaining his attention.

"Gibbs," she said, "it's the weirdest thing."

"What?"

"Well, after we, um, were in my office, after you left, I found this." She lifted up the covered dish with evidence in it that Tony had brought earlier.

"What's weird about that, Abbs?"

"Gibbs…It wasn't there before."

"You're sure it wasn't?"

"Positive."

"What're you saying, Abby?" He asked, even though he had a feeling he knew what she was saying.

"I'm saying that someone was in here while we were in my office."

"Do you think they saw…"

"I don't know… But we've got to find out!"

_:::X:::_

"You guys! Why did you do that to me?" Tony said, massaging the skin around his mouth from where Ziva had pulled the tape.

"Don't act like you don't know! You had sex with Abby!"

"No I didn't! She's like family to me! I would _never, **ever**_ have sex with Abby!"

"Then what were you two doing when we went down there earlier?" McGee questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"'_Thanks Tony', 'ha-ha, anytime, Abbs_'?" Ziva recalled.

"My voice doesn't sound like that," Tony interrupted.

"'I can't believe the mess I made'?" Tim exasperatedly reminded him.

"Oh, that! You guys got it all wrong! I was helping Abby pick up some papers she dropped!"

Ziva was about to question him further, but then started to understand the Three's Company-esque situation that they had gotten themselves into.

"But that doesn't explain why you made up that story about Gibbs and Abby."

"I didn't make that up, though, Ziva!" Tony exclaimed, growing tired of defending himself.

"I don't think he's lying, Ziva," McGee chimed in calmly. "I mean, we both know that Tony's pathetic desperation for attention often makes him seem crazy-"

"Hey!"

"-but this seems pretty legitimate. And his story makes sense. Maybe it's time that we just talk to Gibbs and Abby about it to see if we can put this in order and end this craziness. And I'm also pretty sure that was the first thing someone's said today that wasn't completely insane."

"I'm all for that," Tony said after thinking it over.

"So am I," Ziva agreed.

_:::X:::_

"Yeah, Gibbs," Gibbs answered his desk phone expectantly.  
"Gibbs, I'm going to check the evidence dish for fingerprints."  
"You are?"  
"Yes. Anybody could have seen us! I need to know, Gibbs."  
"Abbs, if anyone saw, I don't think they'd go around telling people," he said, unknowingly.

"Maybe you're right. If you weren't so threatening, someone might," she laughed.  
"Good thing I am." He smiled.  
At that moment, Palmer walked into Abby's lab, holding some more evidence in a dish for her to go over.  
"Oh, Gibbs, I gotta go. More evidence to go through. I'll tell you if I find anything on the dish!"

She turned to Palmer after she ended her conversation with Gibbs. "Got some more goodies for me, Jimmy?"  
"Just this," he said, placing the dish next to a similar one.  
"Thanks, Jimmy," Abby said.  
"No problem," Jimmy replied, taking the empty dish beside it so he could clean it downstairs.

After inspecting the evidence that had been in the clear container which had mysteriously appeared on her desk earlier, Abby reached over for the dish to check it for prints. What Abby didn't know was that Palmer had just taken the dish that she thought she was looking at.

This, as expected, would most likely lead to no good.


	6. Aggravation

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

**_A/N:_** _So the last time I updated was December of 2010... Where do I begin? Well I have been writing plenty otherwise and my friend brought up fanfiction and I couldn't help but reread and I found this unfinished gem of mine with plenty of potential! I decided to finish what I've started and with any hope that applies to my other stories as well. I've changed other chappies slightly but if you remember where we've let off then there's no reason to reread! It's a bit short, but I've written the rest so expect more tomorrow! Enjoy!_

_:::X:::_

With another _ding!_ of her machine, Abby looked at the screen in anticipation of whose fingerprints had been on the dish.

Jimmy Palmer's goofy ID photo graced the screen. "Jimmy!" She exclaimed.

Abby reached for her phone and dialed Gibbs to let him know the identity of their mystery witness.

_:::X:::_

So McGee, Ziva, and Tony were back where they started as they all sat in an awkward silence in the bullpen, sans coffee-run Gibbs, the violated Tony rather skittish but otherwise all the same. They planned to wait for Gibbs to return upstairs so they could call Abby up as well and get the entire day's events straightened out.

McGee glanced over at Tony whose eyes kept fearfully returning to the casually whistling Ziva as she cleaned her gun skillfully.

"Tony?" He said meekly, still causing the traumatized Tony to jump and hit the wall with his chair.

Tony glared.

"Erm... I'm sorry I tried to shove you in a freezer."

Tony's arms were crossed and he was bitter. "Hmph."

"...And I never thought I'd have to say that."

"I must say I am sorry about the freezer as well, though I can not say it would be the first time."

Tony looked at Tim in unsettled confusion and then looked at the strange Mossad agent as she continued to clean her gun.

_:::X:::_

Gibbs was returning from getting some coffee and noticed many people regarding him with strange looks. 'What the hell is going on here?', he thought as he walked the naval base, every single worker acknowledging him with the same horribly uncomfortable look.

He approached in his usual brisk and in-control way an acquaintance, the guard in the garage, with a question on his lips.

"What the hell is going on here?" He asked.

"Agent Gibbs," the man said looking around awkwardly, "I'd rather not discuss it."

Gibbs just squinted at the man.

Information poured out of the frightened man that shocked Gibbs and made him realize why others looked at him so strangely.

Gibbs stormed through the lot and into the elevator. 'A rumor!' He thought angrily. He was so angry and wanted desperately someone to direct his anger at, but he knew tracking down the creator of even the juiciest scuttlebutt was quite the task, even for himself.

Just then his cell phone rang. He forced himself to calm._  
_

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Gibbs!" Abby yelled at the other end. Gibbs drew his phone from his now sore ear before returning it.

"Gibbs, the results came through!"

Gibbs was now very invested. Finally, the culprit of all this gossip would be known and he could set aim for his wrath. "And?"

"Jimmy Palmer."


	7. Confrontation

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

_**A/N** : Thanks to all my story followers! Love getting those emails! :) Don't forget to leave a review while you're at it; I'd love to know which parts you like! Enjoy!_

_:::X:::_

Gibbs had thunder clapping all around him as he descended in the elevator, ready to tear the scrawny Palmer limb from limb.

The elevator doors opened and Palmer was already standing there to enter, his expression naturally fearful upon being in the presence of Gibbs, but the thunder just made it worse.

Gibbs grabbed flimsy Jimmy by his shirt and pulled him into the small room. The doors closed.

He wouldn't hurt the poor kid, of course - unless he gave him no choice - but he certainly could interrogate him to the point of wetting his pants.

_:::X:::  
Meanwhile..._

The gang was still up in the bullpen, doing anything but work as it seemed, contemplating their strange day as the afternoon rolled into the evening.

Tony sighed. "I forgive you guys."

Tim smiled, looking up from his writing. "Well, thank you, Tony."

Tony looked up at Ziva.

"I said I forgive you," he said.

Ziva typed some things on her computer without looking up. "I do not recall apologizing, Tony."

Tony's brow furrowed. "Well I forgive you anyway!" He yelled. She only glanced at him curiously.

He sighed again, happy it was Friday and looking forward still to getting all those rumors straight and going home already.

_:::X:::_

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Jimmy Palmer squealed in the elevator as he collapsed under Special Agent Gibbs' gaze, morale effectively trampled after vehement federal-grade interrogation.

Gibbs smirked inwardly. He could crack anyone's sanity like a breakfast egg.

"Agent Lee and I broke Rule Twelve!" Nearly sobbed the poor man with confidence like gelatin.

Gibbs looked at the boy incredulously. _"What?"_

"I'm sorry! Please don't tell the director!" He pleaded, shrinking, before adding as an afterthought, "and please don't hurt me."

Gibbs resorted to his usual sternness and pressed the button for the bullpen as Palmer eyed the button warily and Gibbs with confusion.

"Wait... that is what you meant, right? You found out about me and Agent Lee breaking the rule?"

He eyed the slim man. "Rule Twelve?"

Palmer gulped, awaiting his punishment, and bowed his head ceremoniously. "Yes."

He looked the strange intern up and down. "No. Doesn't matter; you aren't coworkers."

Jimmy thought about that for a moment before a smirk formed on Gibbs' face and a relieved grin occupied his own.

_:::X:::_

Gibbs strode into the bullpen slurping coffee while Palmer wandered off to the law department. Others emptied out the room as five o'clock arrived while Tony, Ziva, and McGee all stood as the silver-haired man entered their circle.

"Boss," Tony said as Gibbs eyed them all, we have to talk to you about something.

The older man raised a brow and glanced at Tim and Ziva who awaited the ball to drop. "Case?"

Tony's palms started feeling clammy and he wondered if it was getting hot. "No, not exactly..."

"Spit it out, DiNozzo!"

"I saw you and Abby!"

The room was dead silent.

Gibbs' eyes burned like cigarettes. "_What?_"

"Tony, you idiot!" Ziva yelled. "You have no grace with such things!"

"Hey it's not my fault!" Tony returned. "You two voted me the sacrifice! What was I supposed to do?!"

"Not your fault?! This is all your fault!"

"He claims he's a sacrificial goat!" Ziva huffed.

Tony cleared his throat. "It's lamb, Ziva."

"Do not correct my English!"

Tim was getting mad. "Hey now...!"

The three all started shouting over each other as Gibbs stood in the middle, brows furrowing more as he grew increasingly annoyed.

Just then, the elevator _dinged!_ and Abby walked out just to say goodnight and saw all the excitement, looking concernedly and confusedly between all of them, Caf!Pow in hand.

As Gibbs was about to shout, someone beat him to the punch.

"All of you get yourselves under control!" Jenny Shepard shouted from the balcony, Ducky standing next to her. "This needs to be sorted out _right now_."

_:::X:::_


	8. Consummation

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, its characters, or its scripts.

_**A/N** : Finale chapter! It's about twice as long as usual! Hopefully that is considered a gift and not punishment. I found this especially funny and hopefully not because they were my own jokes, haha. But thanks for your support, both recent and through the years! Check out my **101 Ways to Kill Hollis Mann** for some strange humor that I hope to continue with, or my first work **She Didn't Ask Why **if you dig that kind of fic. Anyway, enjoy and I'll try to drum up some more text for the aforementioned stories! :)_

_:::X:::_

_"All of you get yourselves under control!" Jenny Shepard shouted from the balcony, Ducky standing next to her. "This needs to be sorted out_ right now_."_

The director walked down the stairs with her old friend from autopsy, shaking her head. "Does anyone ever _work_ around here anymore?" She sighed to Ducky, who shook his head and smiled. "Pick up those paper balls, DiNozzo!"

"Sorry ma'am." He bent down to collect a few.

"The things I have heard today," the confident woman began disapprovingly, "you would think I ran a high school!" She scoffed at the ridiculous of it all, descending down the endless staircase. "Gossip," she said.

Ziva and McGee shook their heads at Tony.

"Shouting in the hallways, general office misconduct, not forgetting harassment," she continued, lowering herself stair after stair.

Tony glared in return while they acted angelically.

"And _st__uffing people in freezers?_" Tim and Ziva finally lowered their heads. "Where does it end?" Ducky nodded in agreement. "No, really, where does this end? We've been walking forever." Ducky gestured to the bottom of the steps and she thanked him, finally stepping to the floor.

She cleared her throat and straightened her chic jacket. "Who started this rumor?"

No one said a word.

She sighed. "Listen, it's past five, no cement-shoe'd petty officers have resurfaced in the Anacostia in the past twenty-four hours, and I just want to go home, have a nice glass of wine, and feed my cat. Who started the rumor?"

Ziva and McGee pointed at Tony, who looked up guiltily and tried to avoid stares from Gibbs and Abby.

She shook her head once again. "DiNozzo, do you realize how many DeviantART links have been sent to me since this morning? How many fanfiction links and 'fanvids'? Hm? And what the hell's a 'shipper'? Can anyone tell me that?" She looked around at empty faces. She sighed. "And not to mention the whole wasted man-hours and despicable office behavior thing. Anyway, it's all because of you and a rumor you spread about two of my best workers in this whole goddamn building."  
"I've spoken to Dr. Mallard here after he came to me with great concern upon finding _you two_," she gestured to the suspects, "attempting to shove one of your fellow agents into a morgue drawer."

Abby gasped.

"From there, we conducted some more respectable interviews and were able to piece together enough of what happened to confront you three with it. What were you all thinking? One day of on-the-job listlessness and you all decide to take an office joyride using the reputations of two of your own as means of propulsion? Are you schoolchildren? Shall I pack your lunchboxes and leave little notes in them? Call on you for answers?" She looked disapprovingly at them all. "You shame me."

Tony sniffled.

She sighed again. "Do any of you have anything to say?" She looked between the three trouble-making investigators.

Tony raised his hand.

"Yes," she called on him.

"But Director," he pleaded, looking up at Abby, Gibbs, Ducky, and the rest, "I _saw_ it."

She shook her head. "What you saw... Abby, please explain to them what you told me earlier."

The gothic woman sighed and started. "Well you see, I got a new tattoo," she said. "I wasn't in the most sober of states when I got it, and the artist really did a number on me. It got infected and I've been told to put this cream on it, but I can't exactly reach it myself... So that's where Gibbs comes in."

"But he had no shirt!" Tony contested.

"Yeah, this cream - strong stuff. Stains everything. So I told him to take it off - I bought him that shirt for his last birthday, ya know! Not cheap!" She shuffled her feet. "Anyway I was really embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know..." She glanced at a guilty Tony.

Everyone looked at Tony as Abby finished her explanation. He thought very hard. With the position they were in he never exactly saw any... 'parts'. They'd been behind the desk in a way that now made poor Tony question himself. The more Tony thought about it and the more they all glared at him, the more he considered he could have just formulated all this in his own rancid mind.

"As it turns out," Jenny said, "no one's breaking Rule Twelve with anybody."

Jimmy and Agent Lee walked by casually. "Night everybody!" He yelled as they waved.

"Goodnight!" They all said.

Jenny turned back. "You see?"

Tony looked around once again and broke down. "Aw man, I'm sorry Abby, Boss. I mean I... I don't know what I was thinking. What a horrible mess I made."

Ziva and McGee made their own apologies as well.

"I too apologize to the both of you for the unfairness you had to endure today. As for the punishments of these three, I suppose that can be dealt with Monday," the Director nodded. "After all, Mr. McFluffertons can't exactly feed himself." She gave one last reprimanding look to the culprits before leaving for the night.

The three made some more apologies before exiting to the elevator with their bags, glad at least that it was Friday and time to go home.

"I'm really sorry I dragged you guys into this," Tony said to his sighing fellow agents. "I guess I was wrong."

The doors closed.

_:::X:::_

Gibbs, Abby, and Ducky were the only ones left in the dimly lit bullpen.

Ducky smiled. "Well," he looked between them, almost with a hint of deviousness, "I suppose I ought to go home as well and see to mother. Night all."

"Night, Duck." He left and the elevator descended.

The remaining rumor subjects looked around the empty room.

"God, Gibbs, what a day, huh?" Abby said, stepping closer to the desks.

"Yep."

"I mean the scuttlebutt that goes through this place! This is a federal agency! Full grown men and women acting like teenagers. It's shameful really." She stood next to him and looked at the elevator doors where they'd just been, shaking her head.

"Uh-huh."

"It's like they think the rules apply to everyone but them," she said in disapproval, waving her hands in frustration. "Some people just don't know when to draw the line, no respect for a proper workplace."

"Yeah."

There was a moment of comfortable silence.

"So," she turned to face him. "Your place or mine this weekend?"

"If we go to mine we'll pass the Chinese place on the way." He shrugged.

"Good point."

They walked to the elevator together, chatting casually, as Gibbs rested his hand on the small of her back, the location of her new beautiful tattoo that said simply...

_Gibbs_

_:::X:::_


End file.
